Category Archives: telling it like it is.

everything about this pisses me off.

tracker - "he must trap the enemy to set them both free."

where to begin. meh, i can’t even be bothered to complain.

oh and it’s set in the boer war, so expect an awesome accent from ray i can barely speak english winstone.

battle los angeles and hobo with a shotgun. and rubber.

looking forward to the sequel.

it was one of the worst films i’ve ever seen. it makes independence day look like goodfellas in comparison. my main issues:

* the aliens are never really explained/explored. there’s a brief mention of why they may be here, but its all of 10 seconds. no ideas about how/where they came from, their history or capabilities. water is mentioned. liquid water is like crack to them or something. but that makes no sense. why not just go to, hmmmm, any fucking planet with ice caps and melt them with your giant alien spaceships. why even bother coming to a planet which will offer resistance (although that’s never really explained either)

* there is no ending. at all. remember the ending of black hawk down, where one of the spec ops guys goes back into the fighting. it’s basically that but worse somehow – oh i know, because you know nothing about the characters and hope that they all die of choking on teaspoons.

* you learn nothing about anything. see alien thing above. there is no message or food for thought. at least independence day had some poorly acted message about humanity and working together and using windows to create alien viruses.

* marines running down streets isn’t original anymore. it’s old. stop doing it please.

* no one has more than 2 lines of dialogue in a row. get down, cover, reload, flank right, incoming. etc. destroys any character development. to the point i was slightly disappointed when the girl in the picture isn’t killed (she was supposed to get to da choppa but was late, it got blown up on take off)

wasn't that bad.

honestly, i’ve seen lot worse. see above. for an indie film with little/no budget and a couple of familiar faces, its actually quite well done. the plot is plain but effective and you are kind of rooting for the guy the whole way through.

rubber.

i need help with this one. it is weird. the word pretentious kept jabbing me in the brain before i realised the film had only been on for 2 minutes. its hard to explain because the movie is about a rubber tyre that realises it’s conscious and goes on a murderous rampage. but…no i can’t really explain it. i stopped about 20mins in because i felt like i needed to talk about just exactly what the fuck i was watching. it’s french if that helps.

tucker and dale vs evil.

speaking of new movie ideas, i saw this the other day.

it’s funny.

there is no way i’m going to an e.r. room with this thing. you need to stick me and you need to stick me now, i’m having a dick attack, stick me.

the posters are funny because they remind me of a funny joke.

i watched it for you. the post title is a quote from about :51 in. y’see bobert di nero took a viagra pill and his boner won’t go down. in a panic he wants ben stiller’s character (gaylord focker) to inject him in the penis with epinephrine. they do this and are caught by the grandson. it’s all great motivation for self harm and/or spousal abuse.

but i guess he does love everyone:

you should watch the onion news network.

it’s very good.

rlslog here / torrents here.

danger zone.

how a fellow redditor found out about the new series of archer.

to explain:

gentlemen broncos.

i hadn’t heard of this and apparently it only got a limited release. i saw a picture on /r/movies and it got me curious. it’s worth watching just for the sam rockwell sci-fi bits to be honest. the whole thing about ‘yeast factories’ is classic.

he’s fast becoming one of my favourite comic actors. just watched galaxy quest too and he’s hilarious in that.