Category Archives: fictionbang

fictionbang.

claudia jean

claudia jean

certainly not winifred burkle

certainly not winifred burkle

in commemoration of my watching the five season run of joss whedon’s ‘angel’, followed by seven straight seasons of aaron sorkin’s ‘the west wing’.

everyone usually takes up the same pitch. for angel, people always seem to bogart your cordelias, faiths, et al., and for the west wing, bees usually buzz around donna moss or amy gardner or joey lucas. but that was always a-okay with me, ’cause that way i got to stand in back with illyria and claudia jean. it’s the coldness, the blunt authority of ascendancy in illyria. she’s a fallen goddess/demigoddess that holds the pitiful shortcomings of mortality in contempt. it’s pretty hot. she’s everything that fred is not. also she has wizard bright blue hair and eyes so she reaps mondo additional bonus points off the cosplay chart. and as for c.j? in short, it’s the sass. i fucking love claudia jean. tall, brilliant, uncompromising and with a heart of gold. but the sass. sweet mary magdalene, the sass. 

ps. i was told many a time by many a critic that following sorkin’s departure from the west wing writing staff at the culmination of series four, the us presidential television show crashes and burns. as someone who has now sat through every episode in chronological order back to back i can now officially counter that as fucking trash. i’ll admit sorkin arguably painted on the watermark, but with the exception of literally three to four episodes, two of which i strongly disliked on the grounds of (very much intended) stylistic diversions, the work in it’s totality is exceptional. for nigh on 154 episodes. an achievement that deserves a fucking hat tip at the very least.

cheers, wiki/wireimage/imdb.

 

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fictionbang

no. 6

no. 6

i’ve just started watching battlestar galactica and ‘by the gods’ i would love to bang number 6. she’s a cold hearted bitch just using me to wipe out humanity but i’d try and convince her (and her clones) that we can live together in harmony – sometimes three or four of us at a time.

so say we all.

cheers, rich/wiki.

fictionbang.

princess irulan

princess irulan

i watched dune again this week (an annual tradition) and it reminded me of how much i want to bang irulan. she’s not in it much (hardly at all in fact) but she is the first thing you see and hear. that quiet but commanding voice, like a siren song.

she’s royalty. she’s a classical beauty. she’s begging me to lift up that dress, take her behind the throne and show her how we do it downtown.

cheers, wiki.

fictionbang.

katevsziva

i know what you’re thinking – its a choice i’d rather not have to make – bang kate or ziva? the secret service agent or mossad spy? the all american girl or the mysterious stranger? i had to choose and i chose  ziva.

the threesome is obvious – a sauna in switzerland. we all know that. but sometimes you have to make the hard choices in life. i imagine us meeting in an club in panama, electronic beats, sweat and ziva’s natural ability to move her body against mine. back at the hotel room, she’s all business.

fictionbang

the poppins. it was a few years ago i wondered if she was ‘practically perfect in every way’. behind that accent there has to be some sordid past of sleeping with employers. moving from job to job after she’s no longer needed? i doubt it. more likely the neighbours got wind of her ability to slide up all kinds of bannisters. who knows what she keeps in that bag of hers. i’ll leave the auto asphyxiation ceiling sex to your imagination. (and to answer your question – i might do mrs banks, but only because of the voice).

fictionbang

the older woman. my on again/off again interest with dr. beverly crusher. just yesterday i wondered what i was thinking in my mid-teen infatuation, but today it came back. sort of. in a banging sense at least. its the quiet persona i think. i imagine her in victorian dress pushing me up against the wall of an alley whispering filth in perfect grammar.

fictionbang.

i saw bladerunner again last night and couldn’t help wonder whether i’d bang a replicant (“a bioengineered or biorobotic being”). i concluded that if i was living in los angeles in 2019, i would.

i couldn’t choose between them (other than zhora being last of course, right in picture) so a threesome with rachael (submissive, left) and pris (‘basic pleasure model’, centre) seems like the best idea.

cheers, wikipedia.