as far as i know, today is the only day i’ve used a dnb lyric to chastise a misbehaving child.

i was a bit worried about a year 6 class this morning, so i decided to come down hard. supply is sometimes like the advice you get going into prison; you have to take down the biggest motherfucker first to show the others. anyway, some douche was chatting after i told him to stop, warned him etc. it didn’t work and for some reason i thought of the lyric from chase and status. i explained that he’d lose some of his break time if he didn’t cut the shit and told him:

“it’s no problem for me. but it’s a problem for you.”

it worked quite well actually (with added index finger pointing for emphasis). the rest of the day was uneventful. apart from the register (again i know but these kids have stupid names). i usually ask if they have a nickname they’d prefer (e.g. samuel to sam, johnathan to joey-jo-jo shabadoo jnr). anyway going down the list i came across billie-jay. hmmm. i stifled a laugh and greeted billy good morning. the next kids name, and i shit you not, was enis (like dennis).

i think he could tell i was smiling, but i quickly moved onto the next child. i was then able to maintain good behaviour throughout the day by telling stories of shark attacks (we were researching coastal areas in ict) and laughing at the poor kill/death ratios of the year 6 boys in call of duty.


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