as i was parked down the street it started to rain and i saw a couple walk out of what i thought was the flat. i gave it another 20mins or so just to be sure they’d left then went with paper/measuring tape and started back up the stairs. i got the keys out and as i suspected, they didn’t work. i fiddled around, my heart started to race, and suddenly the door opened and her partner was standing there with a confused look on his face. i mumbled something and held up the measuring tape, and apologised for arriving before they left.

to cut a paranoid story short, it was all fine. they were really friendly, i was shown my space in the kitchen cupboards and i took a few more pointless measurements to carry on the charade. we made small talk about how narrow some of the halls were (there’s a tiny bottleneck that prevents anything wider than 25″ getting through) and i stayed afterwards on the pretense of taking photos for my mum who would inevitably ask what it was like. i helped them with a few things down to the car, and locked up.

oh and while i was staking out the place, i decided to check the local wireless networks. ‘realityoclitoris’ was one of the options. classy.


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