to the motherfucker that smashed my car window last night.
fuck you so much. honestly, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you for making me spend the whole motherfucking day of sunshine sorting this shit out and costing me money i would have rather spent in amsterdam tomorrow. instead, i have to hope that you were stupid enough not to wear gloves so that when the police incident support team arrive, they can lift prints off all those shiny shiny surfaces.
thank you to the member of the public who called in the smash to the police at 9am this morning.
fuck you to the insurance people who gave me 4 different people to repeat information to – a grand total call time of 1hr 11mins.
fuck you to autoglass who might be able to put a perspex window in today if i’m lucky, either by me driving it to them or them coming to me, and then booking me in for a proper replacement next wednesday at the very earliest, between 11 and 3.
however, chris at the police enquiries switchboard was awesome and incredibly helpful. she got excited when i said about the paperwork/book because apparently they can lift really good prints from it.
and i’m undecided about the incident support unit who might be able to come today/tonight or tomorrow morning.
turns out that autoglass and the police forensics unit are awesome too.
it got to about 5pm last night and i saw standing out the back of the flat with a bin liner and masking tape, swearing at the fact the wind was purposely making it impossible to do anything. a few minutes earlier i’d got off the phone with autoglass worried that the police hadn’t called me back and that the autoglass place was closing at 6 – my car window was still smashed and i didn’t really want to leave it overnight. the autoglass help line douche said that i should “secure it” but couldn’t give any more details and that tomorrow morning was the earliest for a replacement. so like a noob in the wind i struggled to attach the bag when an autoglass van rolled up and the driver said something like “you don’t want to do that” – thinking that i’m making rooky binliner-masking tape mistakes i asked what was wrong. he said “because i’m here to replace it”. like an infant at christmas i almost jumped up (my heels left the ground to be honest) and thanked him straight away. a few minutes after making him a coffee and beaming ridiculously another woman turned up saying that she’d been knocking at the door and ringing my phone. she was the forensics officer who totally csi’d the car (didn’t find anything) was was incredibly nice. they were both friendly, reassuring and professional. the autoglass dude stayed chatting (about his time in the army, telling me war stories) until after 7pm. charged me £50 (my excess) and i had to stop myself from tipping him – instead i filled out a glowing customer satisfaction form online. while he was fixing the car another woman turned up, “nicky”, who asked if he could fix her car because exactly the same thing happened to her last night.
about an hour later i was retelling the story to the xbox live party (battlefield dudes) when the police arrived at the door. i let in 2 female pcso’s who asked if i’d seen anything, what was taken and that they’d be stepping up patrols. during the breaks in conversation (as she wrote) all you could hear was the 6 other dudes swearing and laughing about killing each other faintly from the headset. i smiled, conscious of the fact that on this glorious sunshining thursday evening a 30yr old was playing a computer game alone in his flat and his friends were calling each other “cunts” in different english accents.