i know it’s been a while, but after today, i felt like updating things.
i had an observation from an outside person who works for the local education department. her and her colleague are coming in because we’re a failing school and they’re checking all these things. her speciality is maths.
she shall be know as chameleon, because her eyes are too wide apart.
chameleon and i have met all of 3 times. the first time things were fine it seemed. the second, i felt a little friction but passed it off as her being a dick that day. today, she’s cemented herself firmly in ‘the only way i can get out of this category is by quitting my job and standing outside the school with a sign that says “i’m a massive wanker” for a couple of weeks’ category. the second meeting was planning, ie she planned for my year group and we pitched in. i took her plan, amended it slightly and changed the focus of the last couple of days. she came to observe it in action.
admittedly, the lesson wasn’t great. i forgot to organise some key resources and the chn were off task a little but they were stupid mistakes anyone could have made. i’ve done far worse lessons i can assure you. chameleon acted like i had carved ‘you’ll never have a baby, you’ll never be married’ backwards on her forehead. she’s not/hasn’t. i know i’m being superficial. but, fuck that bitch. i realise that could also be read as butt fuck that bitch. unintended.
i realised the mistakes and was prepared to discuss them, talk about how to improve etc. i’m quite good at being self reflective after a year of having it on the course. i went into the feedback session ready to listen and learn and after a few minutes i realised that it was a public humiliation in front of the deputy head. she was out to interrogate me and i had to work to keep the conversation above “that was the worst lesson i’ve ever seen”. i wasn’t totally prepared for some of the lessons and felt that some of the questions were quite harsh. normally when someone asks you ‘what was the focus of the lesson, what did you want them to achieve’ you explain yourself and then they give you constructive criticism. i explained myself. she asked again. i said “i see what you mean” in a “i understand your point, i wasn’t clear enough about the learning intention” etc etc. she said “perhaps i’m not asking it in the right way, what did you want them to achieve” i looked at her one attention focussed eye and said something like “as i said, it was about measure and gathering data”. she turned to the deputy head and gave her a ‘wtf’ look. she then went on to pick apart the entire investigation activity and using examples of ‘off task behaviour’ that i felt were, shall we say: bullshit. one example of this is a little twat in my class who put his hand up, repeated what another child had said swapping the word ‘same’ for ‘similarity’ and i picked him up on it, then moved on. she somehow forgot that’s what had happened and gave the impression i told him told go fuck himself for being a tard “and you could see he lost all confidence in himself, shrank back, his body language changed and he didn’t want to take part anymore”.
basically i got pwned and asked for some advice for changing the lesson at the end, trying to salvage what was left of my planning. after school my mentor came in as i was changing the planning, we got into a conversation and she mentioned that it was chameleon who had told us to do an investigation activity in the first place.
so there’s one option left to me, my preferred option. rather than a freeze out, this one calls for a smothering. of sorts. i’ll be so overly nice to chameleon it’s disgusting in the hope that her mutual hatred of me gets ever so slightly worse because i’m using a level 9 “fuck you” technique against her.
that said, it’s half term in 2 days. i have a school trip on friday so only 1 teaching day left. neh-neh.
will post more then.