i’d like to move now. please.

you buy it

you buy it

i looked at two places this afternoon and neither were any good. a problem might be that i have high standards, am somewhat of a snob and think portsmouth is a toilet. so my nostrils flared a bit and my eyes narrowed when i arrived at a viewing in ‘fratton’ (yesterday) and called the agent to say “i’m not living here”.

this afternoon: the first one was in a fantastic location but a shithole and the wardrobe/dresser had to go in the lounge because the bedroom was too small. the second wasn’t as bad, but as the picture shows, was decorated by a retired, retarded, blind person. it had nice high ceilings at least. and for once the agent wasn’t a complete douche. she wants to do a teaching course so we got chatting and i think she might actually do what i asked her to do (email the landlord, see if he will replace the cooker, put new carpets in and sort out the bathroom. you never know).

i looked at another place on monday and it was money. the best kitchen i’ve seen, wooden floors, nice location etc. but it was the size of money and had a box with a shower in it. apparently called a ‘shower room’. and that place had a fibre optic broadband connection so i was really pissed it was too small.

so i come back to my flat, which is a sty with school crap everywhere and clothes strewn like sick across furniture. why is it so messy? because i can’t be bothered to clean if i’m moving out and will have to a big clean before i do.  so i tolerate the smell and myriad of insects now controlling more of the place than i do. the colony of spiders in my food cupboard is a little unnerving.


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