as you probably could have guessed i did nothing over easter in terms of work. well, not enough to actually make a dent in what i need to do anyway.
it all started again on monday with a lesson given by shit sandwich and some idiot called karen.
here’s a quote from shit sandwich early into the ‘lecture’:
“its not just weighing the pig, its feeding the pig“.
me either. welcome back to college.
assessing pupil progress
oh fuck this was boring. shit sandwich looked pissed at the start of the lesson and said “some people are coming in at like one minute to nine”. she then wasted about five minutes introducing an apparent moron standing next to her.
karen looked like one of those mannequins you see in topshop windows. dressed like she bought the entire outfit and wearing her entire collection of makeup (seemingly). anyway she announced she was relying on shit sandwich to operate the laptop because she couldn’t. the first slide came up on her powerpoint and she asked what app stood for. projected behind her in giant letters was the answer. people laughed. i exhaled.
the whole thing was slow, full of idiocy and catch phrases like ’empty vessels’, ‘suck it and see really’ and ’embedded by 2011′.
less than an hour in, we were still on the fifth slide.
karen also had a habit of saying things like “i don’t know the answer to that, i’m just guessing”, “d’you know – i don’t know” etc.
the stupidist person in the class asked what wholistic meant. its the same girl who started the lunch conversation saying she doesn’t like the taste of cum.
after three hours it ended. the presentation finished and when it closed, we all saw karen had a picture of gary barlow on her desktop.
support for writing
this started really well, was difficult and i thought i was going to love it. finally, a challenge. the whole thing was new government guidance on how to support writing in the classroom and she moved at a very fast pace. its all got to do with this guy called pie corbett.
it lasted about an hour then she slowed right down and it dragged for another two.
i arranged a school visit (for a job) on tuesday so that i could miss another pshe lesson. it was booked for nine so i got there early and met the head. we had a quick chat and i said somethings about their latest ofsted report etc. as she was talking about the position i realised they were looked for someone experienced and i said “sounds like you don’t want an nqt”. she said they didn’t and the advert said experienced teachers. i said “ohhh” and started getting out of my chair, she then said “but you are male, and thats rare in infant school”. i said that i’d seen in the advert they were looking for someone with ict experience and by the end of the visit she handed me an application form. it was a nice school, so i think i’ll apply there.
tuesday afternoon was so boring. it mainly consisted of the people on my table and i shooting glances and trying not to laugh as laura failed to understand or do something on the computer. i spent most of the time reading feeds.
as part of the course we’re supposed to observe a nursery. i wasn’t looking forward to it and was planning on saying i was going to type notes on my laptop and i had to leave early etc. anyway i arrive at this hole in the city and the women weren’t expecting me, didn’t know who i was etc. i said i’d check with the office, came back to college and explained what had happened. they phoned the nursery and to shorten the story i got to go home, and i don’t think i have to do the visit. sweet. the other students had to see babies and shit.
shit sandwich again talking about our folders. i was planning to do my science presentation in between boredom but within half an hour she asked if i could change one of the templates and email it across to people. i had the laptop out and slowly worked at removing some rows/columns. i kept an eye on the budget and checked a couple of other sites, whilst the rest of the class discussed (yet again) good methods of assessing children’s work. she wandered over during this, so i alt-tabbed to safety and waited for her to walk away, tabbing back. she then told me to shut it down. at the end of the lesson i could feel a fat hungry weight standing to my left and i turned and she basically said it was rude to do that and that when she walked over i turned the screen over and i replied “yeah” (in a ‘duh’ manner). she then apologised because she’d been the one to ask me to get it out in the first place, i said i got distraced etc. it was weird. the best news – it was our last lesson with her.
early years visit report
i had nothing to say because i didn’t go to nursery but it was quite an interesting lecture about targets for one year olds up to reception. i did some nice doodles too. we were supposed to have p.e. in the afternoon (theory) but she didn’t turn up.
tomorrow we’ve got science all day but i’ve got a school visit in the afternoon (for a job) and i’m missing out on the space part. weeeeaaak.