the bye bye board

the bye bye board

ah, the last day of the easter holidays (apart from the weekend). but this is the last day i know other people are at work, and hence a real holiday (not the weekend).

i wanted to put an end to the previous placement before i go back to college and get bored. its hard to sum up, a mix of good and bad. but to be honest one of the main reasons i wasn’t posting so much about it when i was there was because it was so exhausting. i did things i didn’t want to (ie shout a lot), i found things i liked (bossing kids around) and things i needed (the support of other teachers).

but when i think of the few children that ruined, and i do mean ruined, lessons or whole days, i’m glad i’m not going back.

end of days

i ended up with a good rating at the end of it. thats two in a row baby. admittedly i had to argue it because it all came down to one mark, the difference between a satisfactory and a good. i was observed twice on one day, first lesson and last and the first went well (my mentor cheated and took out the worst behaved kid) and the last wasn’t that great (it was music).

i liked most of the staff, the teachers mainly. the teaching assistants were, as i’ve mentioned, something out of a soap. i couldn’t relate to them. especially mine. her name was michelle, but it was pronounced “meeshell”.

on the plus side she did give me the worst present ever though:

"recommended for ages eight to adult"

"recommended for ages eight to adult". if you want it - email me.

ugh. what a bitch.

it wasn’t all bad, and a couple of funny things from the last couple of days:

* ayesha wanted to write ‘charlie had a big chocolate bar’ in literacy and wrote this:

ayesha also thought that five times eleven was six.

ayesha also thought that five times eleven was six.

* on the last day stephen was guessing a hangman clue. on the whiteboard i had written:


stephen is a really nice boy, always tries his hardest but his abilities are lacking. he was one of the children whose parents decided to stop washing them.  anyway, i asked him for his first letter. his hand shot up and said that he knew what the answer was. i was surprised but asked him what he thought – “the twits” he said authoritatively. “no…stephen” i said trying not to laugh too hard. it was ‘snow white and the seven dwarves’ by the way (and yes, i checked).

the interview

i didn’t get it. and here’s the feedback i got from the headteacher (my previous mentor) and my interpretation.

“now to business….
in the first place we probably need to have a look at your application letter and carefully ensure that you are selling yourself in an approapriate way… the selection panel were kind to you knowing your skills helped us to put you through to the interview day.
well, your application letter fucking sucked and you were lucky to get an interview. thank god you sorted out the school website.

your independent task was very good and you were able to plan using the 6 areas well and we were very impressed…this is a good thing as this is what you are going to be asked to do daily.
thanks for the two pages of ideas you gave us for next term (the task we were set – i almost asked for them back).

in the group task your were in a strong group where it was hard to have a voice at times and really we did not feel that you pushed yourself forward. you were the one who did keep the group on task and kept bringing them back to the focus of the task which was noted, but my chair of governors did not think you stood out enough and paula and i know that you were allowing others to speak, and that your style is to listen and then act.
you didn’t butt in enough. (i actually don’t think i have a ‘style’ but there was a big fat bitch who ate most of the conversation – a couple of the other people in the group of five said about two words)

in the teaching, which jane viewed she felt that the lesson was fine, but lacked that something that makes it a wow which when you are part of a process and there are others which you are compared to you did not stand out!
your teaching activity wasn’t ‘drama student’ enough.

for you it was really about not being bad, awful or failing in anyway…(it was) but you found yourself in a strong field of candidates who just stood out more than you did.
as i said to you when you are part of a panel of interviewees you have to go with the majority and on that day the majority did not feel that you were dynamic enough for our school and moving us forward into the next phase.
all that stuff i told you before you applied about being perfect for the school, having just the right skills we need etc was baseless.

please remeber that you are good and will prove an asset to any school…. for us as we are so small we really needed to find the person that ticked as many boxes as possible.
as above

don’t be disheartened i am happy to still suport in any way i can with applications. hope you still feel ok for coming back to undertake the second part of the base school scitt placement as we are looking forward to it and really still and always will class you as being part of the school team!
please come back and fix our shitty computers and website.

it might seem like i’m resentful, but i’m not. i do look forward to going back. and stealing the shit out of the stationary cupboard.
qts skills tests

as part of completing the course, every teacher has to complete three skills tests: ict, maths and english. i did ict ages ago and have been putting the other two off.
i had english and maths on wednesday this week.
the plan was to go out on tuesday with iamthedemonamon come back, have a few practice tries and spend the morning on wednesday doing the same. i spent that time playing godfather instead. on wednesday i woke up. had a practice at the maths and failed by a couple of points i think. i had a crack at the english and passed. it was still about noon and the tests weren’t until three so i thought i’d play a quick game and then have a few more practices. i saved the game, looked at the time. quarter past two. fuck. i still hadn’t eaten, washed or anything so did that and drove the half hour to the test centre.
i had booked one after the other so did the english first and it was harder than i thought and took me about half an hour (out of the allotted three quarters). at the end of the test it tells you if you passed, and i did. i punched the air ‘eriq la salle’ style. and went onto the maths one.
the first part is a mental arithmatic questions and you get about thirty seconds to answer them depending on the questions. and i fucked that up like you wouldn’t believe. a few i knew i got wrong, one i had about three seconds to put the answer in (i think i wanted to type 1525 or something) and spazzed and typed 1552..55 as the timer ran out. so i worked through the other questions thinking i’d have to do all this again. i passed though, so i must have got almost every other question right.
if you’ve got a spare lunchtime and fancy a challenge: here’s the maths practice tests, and here’s an english one.

i’m back at college on monday for about six weeks i think and its going to be dull. i’ve got some work to do, finish an essay write some reports, do a couple of presentations but i’m sure it will be fine.

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