teach.

isn't it obvious?

isn't it obvious?

my first lazy saturday in what feelings like a while, hours and hours of backofthemind guilt that i should be doing work to waste away on this wonderful overcast november afternoon. unfortunately my efforts to relax have so far been thwarted but i am determind to kill at least one terrorist/alien/nazi by this evening. wednesday, thursday and friday were a bit of a rollercoaster teaching wise but i left my teachers house at about 5pm on friday afternoon (after going round to fix her computer, read: uninstall norton) with a smile that i hadn’t fucked the next year up. oh, and i might be getting banned from teaching for the rest of my life. just breathe in that fresh saturday air…


but before i get to the banning, i should talk about wednesday as it was the first day after the sick day and i wasn’t sure what to expect. years of manipulation of mothering women in offices means that i’m no fool when it comes to knowing when to turn it on the sympathy tap and when to shut the fuck up. i chose the latter but it wasn’t long before most of the late 30’s, 40’s, 50’s women were asking if i was “feeling better”. ninja. easy life.

i taught my first ict lesson on wednesday afternoon but in the morning had another numeracy. its not something i’m that confident teaching and there is a lot to consider. e.g. x might know her 2, 5, 10 times tables, but does she know that 2+2+2 is the same as 2×3? does she shit. so i often struggle dumming it down to make sure everyone gets involved. the lesson wasn’t bad and i tried out a few techniques my mentor told me about for behaviour management; giving out stickers etc. ict was better as i was in my natural environment, and to an extent it was more like playing. i set up the laptops and the lo was ‘can i use 2paint to draw a picture of a fire’. 2paint is so basic it only has colours and pens, no spray cans, pencils etc. it was a good lesson and it was being observed by my mentor who gave it a ‘good’ rating (compared to ‘unsatisfactory’ on monday morning).

thursday was interesting as i was doing quite a lot of teaching. the class teacher was out pretty much the whole day so i had the children and a cover supervisor was in in the morning doing literacy. so again i was actually teaching numeracy in the morning, and ict in the afternoon. i’ve started to get more comfortable and relaxed and have been trying to have more fun with the children but still haven’t completely gone ‘infant’ if you know what i mean. that will take a while i think. after that we had activities for an hour (jigsaws, reading, colouring, knex for 15mins in groups then switch). something happened during that lesson which i didn’t really notice but it was a big deal yesterday.

thursday night was actually quite good. ict planning is a piece of piss and i had them drawing shapes, filling them and undoing work so it took about half an hour. my teacher also gave me this book for maths which completely changed the way i planned. i noticed her plans pretty much come word for word from the book, its full of worksheets and tons of resources – good news. i cut the planning time in half, threw in a couple of worksheets and felt a lot better about the following day’s lesson.

it was during this prep on friday morning that my teacher came over to speak to me. one of the other teachers had said to her that they noticed one of the girls in the class had been flirting with me. “uh…what?” was my reaction. this particular girl is pretty fucking crazy, can barely sit still, sometimes acts like a baby calling for her “ma-ma” and is certainly one of the names that all the other teachers know. but she’s actually one of the smarter children in the class. and remember – she’s 6. i made it clear that i didn’t think this was the case and that girl was just really fucking needy – i mean she wants hugs from everyone, wants to be picked up, all that shit. she has a crap home life and when the class was talking about what they did at the weekend, her answer was “watch my mummy play wii”. anyway, i made clear my policy on pushing away children who want affection.

however, it was suggested that i need to sort out union membership pretty quickly (to get legal representation if the need arises) because if little psycho-6-year old says to mum/dad that mr scutt is really “really” nice to her i could end up on the same register as gary glitter. you may be thinking its not that serious, as did i, but i was then given a couple of examples from my teacher of people she knows (male teachers) who have been in this situation and are basically blacklisted as soon as an allegation is made. it was agreed that we would all keep an eye on her for my sake.

so you can imagine the rest of the day whenever that girl got within 8ft of me i would leap across to the other side of the classroom hands in the air shouting “no touchy”. but when someone mentions something, you start to notice things. luckily i had an observation in the morning for numeracy and my mentor (the head) had a massive go at this girl for her ongoing behaviour issues and for the rest of the day she hardly said a word. the observation went really well and i got another ‘good’ rating (the same as my teacher for her observation that morning – chuffed). my mentor was actually quite gushing in her praise. another thing – we were talking about my possible lifetime ban of teaching and she was trying to make light of allegations like this saying it happens to everyone, even her… now i don’t want to suggest anything but i got a really weird feeling when she told the story of her first teaching job (at 23 years old) with a class of year 6’s. she was saying things like when you think about it, the gap between 11yrs old and 23 isn’t that much. ‘they’re cocky at that age and i was fresh out of teaching school’ etc.

i quickly changed the subject back to how good my lesson was.

next week should be better – its an inset day on monday (ie, no kids) and i also get to teach: numeracy again, ict again (i’m doing google earth), music, games and its parents evening on thursday.

cheers, ed.

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