teach.

mr bergstrom

mr bergstrom

my teaching career has started, so i thought i’d add a new topic about it.

english.

“this guy…this is not my kind of guy” is a short hand version of what has taken about 10mins to describe verbally.

imagine a slow-talking, stuttering lecturer who’s holding onto his senility by will power alone. i’m used to a fast-talking direct authority who provides hand cramps with the bombardment of information. jack’s a friendly guy and tries to do the right thing, but feels it necessary to drop references from the 60’s in the middle of sentences. “don’t panic mr mainwarring” he’ll say. a sea of blank young faces stare back, i’ll smile supportively. he’ll then say into his sleeve “note to self, don’t say [insert reference we don’t get]”. i shit ye not. half an hour later the same thing, but he might change it up to “not a great night at the comedy store”.

those who know me know i’m a patient man. patient like a fox. i understand he’s an expert in linguistics but there’s only so much biting my tongue can take. 9-4 is a long day.

i brought home with me about half a foot of paperwork, handouts and helpfully a ‘video’ on teaching english to children as a second language. a video. it would have been easier to give me a sheet of morse code – at least i could look that up.

the homework was challenging which i enjoyed and i exhausted my brain trying to get ahead on maths over the weekend. however, i can now do (a x b) + (b x c).

the class is fine, although i missed out on the induction so i’m a little behind meeting everyone.

its science and design and technology tomorrow so e=mc squared and then hopefully building the bomb.

fingers crossed.

oh, and i was part of a performance poem:

“it was so quiet you could hear…the grass growing” (cue me and four girls ‘growing’ with our hands)

“it was so quiet you could hear…the wind whistling in the trees” (wasn’t my idea, and yes, waving arms)

“it was so quiet you could hear…our hears beating” (thumping fists on chests)

humiliating? yep, but it was one of the better ones.

peace out.

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