tracker - "he must trap the enemy to set them both free."
where to begin. meh, i can’t even be bothered to complain.
oh and it’s set in the boer war, so expect an awesome accent from ray i can barely speak english winstone.
looking forward to the sequel.
it was one of the worst films i’ve ever seen. it makes independence day look like goodfellas in comparison. my main issues:
* the aliens are never really explained/explored. there’s a brief mention of why they may be here, but its all of 10 seconds. no ideas about how/where they came from, their history or capabilities. water is mentioned. liquid water is like crack to them or something. but that makes no sense. why not just go to, hmmmm, any fucking planet with ice caps and melt them with your giant alien spaceships. why even bother coming to a planet which will offer resistance (although that’s never really explained either)
* there is no ending. at all. remember the ending of black hawk down, where one of the spec ops guys goes back into the fighting. it’s basically that but worse somehow – oh i know, because you know nothing about the characters and hope that they all die of choking on teaspoons.
* you learn nothing about anything. see alien thing above. there is no message or food for thought. at least independence day had some poorly acted message about humanity and working together and using windows to create alien viruses.
* marines running down streets isn’t original anymore. it’s old. stop doing it please.
* no one has more than 2 lines of dialogue in a row. get down, cover, reload, flank right, incoming. etc. destroys any character development. to the point i was slightly disappointed when the girl in the picture isn’t killed (she was supposed to get to da choppa but was late, it got blown up on take off)
wasn't that bad.
honestly, i’ve seen lot worse. see above. for an indie film with little/no budget and a couple of familiar faces, its actually quite well done. the plot is plain but effective and you are kind of rooting for the guy the whole way through.
rubber.
i need help with this one. it is weird. the word pretentious kept jabbing me in the brain before i realised the film had only been on for 2 minutes. its hard to explain because the movie is about a rubber tyre that realises it’s conscious and goes on a murderous rampage. but…no i can’t really explain it. i stopped about 20mins in because i felt like i needed to talk about just exactly what the fuck i was watching. it’s french if that helps.
speaking of new movie ideas, i saw this the other day.
it’s funny.
the posters are funny because they remind me of a funny joke.
i watched it for you. the post title is a quote from about :51 in. y’see bobert di nero took a viagra pill and his boner won’t go down. in a panic he wants ben stiller’s character (gaylord focker) to inject him in the penis with epinephrine. they do this and are caught by the grandson. it’s all great motivation for self harm and/or spousal abuse.
but i guess he does love everyone:
it’s very good.
how a fellow redditor found out about the new series of archer.
to explain:
i hadn’t heard of this and apparently it only got a limited release. i saw a picture on /r/movies and it got me curious. it’s worth watching just for the sam rockwell sci-fi bits to be honest. the whole thing about ‘yeast factories’ is classic.
he’s fast becoming one of my favourite comic actors. just watched galaxy quest too and he’s hilarious in that.
Posted in tell it like it is, telling it like it is.
he's scared because the snake that got in is next to a fire he accidentally started with brandy. honestly.
ugh. this movie blew. within 10mins i was already shouting at him to turn off that zippo. if you are buried please be aware that you have a limited amount of oxygen. in this case a coffin (approximately 7′ x 2′ x 2′ i’d guess) would only give you a few hours of air before you die of carbon dioxide poisoning (think apollo 13 carbon dioxide scrubbers). the director said:
“but the thing is, he’s scared as hell! would you want to sit in complete darkness? if i had a lighter, i would light it. you could use your cellphone for light but then you’re going to waste battery doing that.”
protip – if you are in that situation, realise quickly that slowing your heart rate and breathing shallow are essential to extending your life. keep calm as best you can. use the cellphone to get help, and when you do call for help, don’t sound like an escaped mental patient so no one will talk to you.
acting is weak and the director manages to make a movie set in a coffin not feel claustrophobic.
[edit- now watching back to the future 2. god damn this movie rules]
[spoiler, look at address]
tis the end of this category i think. will be replaced with another review/verdict category called ‘tell it like it is’ (unless i get bored of that or someone think of something better).
i’ve wanted to move away from onewordreviews since i heard them doing the same thing on radio 1 a while ago. and having recently watched ‘the american’ now is as good a time as any. i’ve been busting to call it names since last week.
should have been called paranoid action-blacksmith. zzzfest.
cheers, wiki/imdb.
Posted in onewordreview, tell it like it is
