one of the girls died 6 years ago.

i loved that thing i saw him in.

according to the comments, chloe jones is dead (bottom right). the one in the news recently is top left.

like another commenter said, not entirely sure how you can parody something that doesn’t exist. but i do like that they called him ‘charlie sheem.’

picture link is nsfw, duh.

pron.

porno might be running out of ideas.

in the series ‘amateur violations’ i couldn’t help but lol at the screencaps for this particular vid:

link is obviously nsfw.

the description reads: “well well well, what do we have here? it’s a bit creepy watching a girl with a bomb ass body get boned with a bag over her face. what? is she ugly? does she have a fucked up face? like they say “body of a goddess, face from hell”.“

i’ve never heard that particular phrasing before and the girl is charley chase (me neither) but she’s been in pron for a while it seems.

i’d recommend the screencaps at least (for lols) because it looks like the entire time she’s trying to stop the bag from falling off her head, making sure she can see out of the moving eye holes, and y’know, having the sex.

my eyes, my eyes, the goggles do nothing.

it was bound to happen. i do like the inclusion of cookie kwan and mcbain though.

cheers, lukeisback.

pron.

i thought it would be kinda weird.

doin’ the heff.

cheers, /r/

pron.

best quote? "my dad is very upset"

atm can’t think of a good parody, i was thinking “neo, take the pink pill” but seems a little crude.

nsfw link btw.

cheers, adultbay.

pron.

leisure suit larry, meet 'eve'

my sex in video games story has come a long way since those risqué days of leisure suit larry series in the late 1980′s/early 1990′s. back then i was a plucky <14 year old hearing about it from friends of friends and stealing glances at the cover in sweat-smelling games shops.

i don’t think i ever actually played the series though. by 1994 we had our first modem and were wasting away the hours in my brother’s tiny room asking if there really was a naked picture of deanna troi from star trek available. yes, there was. and we had the upload ratio to have a look. i remember that as my first foray into internet porn. the days of going round to matt’s (can’t remember his surname) and looking at the soiled pages from the daily sport he found in the skip behind his house were over.

soon after naked troi my dad got a slightly faster pc and modem. i would close the door to the office at his house, probably look at playboy.com and chat with girls online. i started to dabble in online sexy chat using the compuserve interface. there weren’t any video games featuring sexy women and  i remember one evening frantically closing down chat windows when my dad sent in my younger step-sister in to see what i was doing (read: catch me looking at playboy). the annoying thing was, i distinctly remember i was getting further with this girl than i had ever before. over the years i’ve wondered what could have been with emerald2000. would she have gone all the way?

pron.

scenes from the real doll factory

some nsfw.

cheers, kottke.

pron.

from this:

to this:

cheers, lukeisback.

http://www.lukeisback.com/wp-content/uploads/image/janine%20clip4.jpg

pron.

i was explaining to someone the other day about rule 34: if you can think of it, someone has already made porn of it.

reading the io9 feed i came across kaiju (women and monsters, above) and they had a few related posts, one of which i didn’t realise was so prevalent:

giantess porn.

it’s fairly tame (apart from the anime), but there’s a lot of it.

kaiju, however:

there’s also a nice post called ‘why are people always have sex with dragons‘.

how about: godzilla bukkake?

cheers, io9.

pron.

meet roxxxy.

cheers, bornrich.

pron.

avn awards

some big shocks this year. i never would have picked ‘party of feet’ for best foot/fetish release.

and don’t even talk to me about the ‘best big butt release’ winner.

it’s all political man.

nsfw etc.

pron.

just seen a reality kings clip. set up is that guy goes into a dentists office, assistant bends down to get something and he grabs her ass. she freaks and says “you know that’s totally unappropriate, you know i could sue you for that”. she goes off and talks to the dentist. the dentist then freaks and says “that is like, totally unacceptable, that is like not tolerated in my office ever.” digging deeper to find out what happened she outrages that it’s “completely inacceptable…we should go in there and teach this young gentleman how things are ran in this office.”

they start the check up and brilliantly acted (with tools and everything) the dentist says “yeah we’ve got some inclusions going on, we’ve got tooth number 4, number 5 – we’ll need to put a watch on those teeth if you can make a note for me please.” teeth 4 and 5 eh?

don’t get me wrong, i enjoy the patter before the porn in these things, it’s normally tongue in cheek. but this time i lol’d.

(and btw about 5mins later she gets the dental lube out.)

pron.

 

death of xxxdevil

“dear xxxdevil user,

after going back and forth and writing endless begging news which we were forced to because we are simply not able to pay the server bills completely out of our own pockets we have finally decided to abandon the tracker at the end of the month. it was a great time with you and we would like to thank everyone who has contributed to the community (with their own uploads).”

r.i.p. xxxdevil.”

aaah back in the day before adultbay et al, there was xdevil. it’s a ratio site which means you have to seed as well as leech to keep your account. the giddy thrill of becoming power users (as iamthedemonamon and i were) and the frequent changing of usernames after yet another account was banned. my current connection doesn’t really allow fast rapidshit/netload/hotfile dl’s so i’ve gone back to torrents and signed up again to xdevil and saw that notice. it’s a shame. but i don’t pay for pron.

some of the (hundred or so) comments on the site:

“so sorry to see the place have to shut down… but it does cost money afterall.

i have downloaded so much good stuff from this place, i am going to miss it. i wanted to thank all of the uploaders for all their time and effort into making this place one of the best torrent places around…

i guess i leave my ratio as…

join date (121 weeks ago)
last seen (< 1 min ago)
last checked (1 min ago)
address [snipped lol]
max. torrents 10
invites
[given]  - 0    :    [available]  - 10
uploaded 2.03 tb  (daily: 2.44 gb)
downloaded 1.54 tb  (daily: 1.85 gb)
share ratio
1.318
class power user

it’s almost unfathomable… 121 weeks, and ive uploaded 2.44gb daily?! wow. i’ll leave the torrents i’m seeding on until the place is gone. you will not be forgotten. take care everybody.

autumn”

-

“thanks for everything. it was great here with you guys. i will miss you!!! take care.”

-

“ive bin here for 182 weeks ..

for staff & uppers ; a big danke merci thankyou  gracias dank u ..and i hope to see you pornlovers somewhere else  “

-

“thanks for a great community and a great time !

join date (269 weeks ago”

-

“coco3
ratio: 6.434
ul: 1.55 tb
dl: 245.96 gb”

-

there’s also a whole bunch in german/polish.

Thanks for a great community and a great time ! JOIN date (269 weeks ago)

pron.

by matt groening

from the november issue of playboy.

she’s on the cover too.

it’s weird.

cheers, adultbay.

pron

hardcore profits

i was listening to woman’s hour this morning and heard an interview with tim samuels about his new documentay ‘hardcore profits’. part one is showing on bbc2 at 10pm on monday 31st and it sounds interesting. you can listen again for a week on iplayer here.

cheers, bbc.

pron.

'cumming at you in 3d'

growing up i used to read a series of ‘choose your own adventure’ type books called ‘fighting fantasy‘. they weren’t great but were different enough to hold my attention.

who’d have thought fifteen years later i’d be looking at a post on fleshbot describing the same, well not exactly the same, idea. instead of turn to page 41 to leave the dungeon, it’s press x to show me your ass. there’s an element of (game) play not unlike the sims: chat, joke, friendly hug, chat, compliment, massage, dirty joke, goose, amorous hug, dirty joke, confess attraction, first kiss, kiss, make out, woo-hoo. or something to that effect, each action leading down a number of possible routes and cumming at you has 50,000 customisable scenarios.

the concept is new at least and it’s not another sitcom parody. plus it’s in 3d – i don’t recall ever watching a 3d porno (which seems strange) and holding onto those commemorative 3d glasses iamthedemonamon and i got when we went to watch spy kids 3d was obviously a good idea.

but 3d squirting? not so much.

cheers, fleshbot.

pron.

"only 6 minutes a day"

[sfw]

cheers, todaysbigthing.

pron

friends xxx parody

i’m getting sick of these now, the novelty has worn off for american sitcoms. unless they do a fraiser.

what i want to see is some english ones: only fools and horses (rodney and granddad double team raquel) and allo allo (although nazi’s fucking the french resistance might not be considered a parody).

i glanced at wikipedia’s list of sitcoms and there are a few others, but as much as i’d like to see tom bang margo from the good life, it’s a pretty small cast. ditto some mothers do ‘ave ‘em.

oooh betty, etc.

cheers, adultbay (nsfw).

pron

i was looking at the stats and noticed that, once again, those erotic books i posted a while back are still being read. caring admin that i am i thought i’d see if i could provide links to more.

i did a search for erotic fiction with a creative commons licence and came across the wikimedia listings. there’s only a few but i wanted to share two very different stories. the first is ‘les liasons dangereuses‘ and is quite tame, i have to say. its only six frames but you can work out the story pretty easily.

liasons dangereuses

the next one is ‘fanny hill‘. i’d never heard of this and am suprised i haven’t because it’s pretty hardcore and was quite the controversy back in 1748. the wikipedia article on the author john cleland is also worth reading – he sounds like a dick. anyway, the frames are graphic to say the least and also a few are confusing because of the dress and the wigs it’s hard to tell who’s banging who.

my favourite is number 4, its classic william.

there’s a bit in the article where he’s accused of being gay because “the passionate descriptions of copulatory acts in fanny hill are written by a man from the point of view of a woman, and the fact that fanny is obsessed by phallic size“. for example:

“…and now, disengag’d from the shirt, i saw, with wonder and surprise, what? not the play-thing of a boy, not the weapon of a man, but a maypole of so enormous a standard, that had proportions been observ’d, it must have belong’d to a young giant. its prodigious size made me shrink again; yet i could not, without pleasure, behold, and even ventur’d to feel, such a length, such a breadth of animated ivory! perfectly well turn’d and fashion’d, the proud stiffness of which distended its skin, whose smooth polish and velvet softness might vie with that of the most delicate of our sex, and whose exquisite whiteness was not a little set off by a sprout of black curling hair round the root, through the jetty sprigs of which the fair skin shew’d as in a fine evening you may have remark’d the clear light ether through the branchwork of distant trees over-topping the summit of a hill: then the broad and blueish-cast incarnate of the head, and blue serpentines of its veins, altogether compos’d the most striking assemblage of figure and colours in nature. in short, it stood an object of terror and delight.“

i’m reminded of mr. garrison’s ‘valley of the penises‘.

“out on the balcony when reginald kissed joanna’s lips her knees went weak. slowly he pulled her top down, exposing her soft, unyielding breasts. just the sight of those breasts made reginald’s penis very hard. his penis was of considerable size and now beads of sweat ran slowly down his penis, making it glisten like a strong swimmer fresh out of the pool. it was a fantastic penis that seemed as strong as a horses leg, but as delicate as a flower wrapped in silk. what a grand, grand, penis. diana’s nipples…

chapter 18.

diana had never slept with another woman before but it was an erotic thought she often fantasised about. and as rebecca’s naked body lay before her, diana couldn’t help but feel aroused. “go on” rebecca said softly “touch me”. diana leaned down slowly and brushed rebecca’s bare stomach with her fingertips. it felt good. like a penis. a soft but sturdy penis that felt warm to the touch. in rebecca’s mind she suddenly felt like she was surrounded by penises, they were all around her, flopping all around and slapping her face. it was as if she were in a redwood forest of penises. they presented themselves tall and mighty around her with-“

cheers, wiki.

pron

its a rare headline.

cheers, bb.

pron

its dj, dirk, the tedd etc.

it looks pretty good. the humour reminds me a bit of ‘nurses’.

nsfw btw.

cheers, fleshbot.

pron

i’ve seen the office parody, bewitched and a couple of others. this trailer is classic, and sfw.

i’ll keep an eye out for the seinfeld and scrubs trailers too.

cheers, fleshbot.

pron.

jesse jane is "getting swimsuits with stoya"

i remember where i was when jenny hendrix was “running some arrands around la”.

good times.

cheers, fleshbot.

pron

violet blue talks about the future of sex

cheers, fleshbot.

pron

genuine chocolate face, no make-up

to compete with iamthedemonamon’s “‘i can’t believe you sucked a negro” find.

cheers, fleshbot.